Compassion and Gratitude – The Pre-School Version

Ever since the birth of my first child, gift-giving holidays tend to fill me with anxiety and trepidation as I look around my house and wonder where in the world I am going to put all of the things my child(ren) will soon receive. There are several influences at play here: I don’t like to feel overrun by “stuff”; I want my children to feel a sense of gratitude for what they have, which I think gets more difficult as the mountains of gifts pile up; and I really just don’t know where to store it all.

These feelings, in conjunction with a desire to “give back” and to put my unwanted items to good use, have led me to cull through our existing toys prior to each birthday and Christmas looking for those that are outgrown, unpopular, or that I just never liked in the first place. This year I decided that my 3yo was old enough to understand and participate in the process.

I began just after Christmas by initiating a conversation about all of the friends and relatives who had given her gifts. We talked about how nice it was to have so many people who cared about her and wanted to get her gifts. Then I brought up the idea that some kids don’t have a lot of other people who can give them gifts (besides the gifts that Santa brings to EVERY kid, of course). I asked if she thought we could pick out some of her older toys to give to kids who had not received so many nice new presents, and she readily agreed.

We spent the next hour or so rooting through every toybox, bookshelf, nook, and cranny and choosing toys she was willing to part with. I respected her decisions, even when she insisted on keeping toys that I know she never plays with, so that she would feel a sense of control and ownership of the process and not think I was taking her toys away from her.

She only wanted to donate 1 out of every 8 or 9 toys we looked at, but in the end we loaded 4 shopping bags into my trunk and dropped them off at a local women’s shelter. It was only about half of what I would have given away had I done it myself, but my daughter learned about compassion and generosity, my home is a bit less cluttered, and the shelter has new toys for their playroom, so it really was win-win for everyone. I plan to make this a semi-annual tradition and will be looking for more ways to develop my daughters’ sense of gratitude and compassion for others as time goes on. Any good suggestions?